One thing that tiger moms got right
I recently listened to Cal Newport on the podcast where he argued that “follow your passion” is poor career advice. Most people don’t have a singular passion, or if they do, it’s not always career-friendly. Instead, he suggests focusing on developing rare and valuable skills through deliberate practice. Passion, he explains, often follows mastery—a theme he explores deeply in his book, So Good They Cannot Ignore You.
At first, this idea feels counterintuitive. We think of exceptions like Tiger Woods or Lionel Messi—prodigies whose talent was evident from a young age. But exceptions don’t make the rule. For most people, discovering meaningful work takes time, experimentation, and deliberate effort. For them, Cal’s advice works well.
He outlines four key principles for building rare and valuable skills:
Put high-intensity effort in improving aspects of your work. Push your limits, refine your abilities, and aim for growth.
Embrace hard things that others avoid. These hard-won skills become rare and valuable precisely because they are difficult.
Seek feedback, both positive and constructive. Positive reinforcement keeps motivation alive. One of the best techniques I found is to track progress by keeping before-and-after snapshots to see how far I have come. For constructive feedback, lean on mentors, managers, or trusted peers.
Commit long-term - mastery takes months and years of sustained effort.
Examples of rare and valuable skills include: a consultant’s ability to break down complex problems and create innovative solutions; a product designer’s knack for balancing aesthetics with functionality in customer-centric designs; a marketer’s talent for crafting persuasive, high-converting written content.
Developing these skills brings competence and the ability to negotiate greater autonomy—two key drivers of job satisfaction. Over time, these factors often spark genuine passion for your work.
As I reflect on my own rare and valuable skills and help others around me to discover theirs — I wonder what these skills will look like for my kids. They will need to find their own answers, but I can equip them with the tools to search wisely.
When my eldest was six, we introduced him to piano lessons. Music is one of those hard disciplines, where consistent effort delivers visible progress. Initially, he wasn’t enthusiastic, so we made a deal: no screen time until he practiced, even if just for 5–10 minutes. Perhaps I should’ve matched the length of screen time to practice time. 🤔
This year, he casually walked to a piano in Rome airport, and played Hayya Hayya to applause from passing travellers. It was a proud moment for him — and a testament to the power of pushing through challenges to reach initial mastery.
I have experienced this firsthand with swimming. People who know me might be surprised to learn that I didn’t like it at first. My mum had to drag me to the pool while I grumbled about chlorine stinging my nose. For months, we swam laps side by side until she decided I was “good enough”. I didn’t grumble anymore. I became the fastest swimmer in my class—a status that felt undeniably cool to a teenager. University swimming team is one of my best memories of that time - those who had a chance to be a member of a truly bonded team would know. And these days, it’s me who is pulling my family to the pool every weekend because I genuinely love it.
Cal Newport’s advice isn’t just about careers—it’s about life. Success, joy, and passion aren’t prerequisites for hard work; they are often its byproducts. As I help my kids discover their own rare and valuable skills, I hope they, too, will embrace the power of persistence and the simple truth that the best things often lie just beyond “hard first”.
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