Working Mother Survival Tips: Five Lessons from the Trenches

How to combine the fun of having a full-time job and a three kids family

When I asked readers what they most wanted to hear about, work-life integration topped the list. So I sat down and wrote five lessons that have helped me navigate the chaos of a dual-career household with three kids.

If you're a working parent too, I’d love to hear your survival tips in the comments!

Lesson 1: Say “No” to Guilt

Working mums often feel guilty for putting work ahead of family. It's a reflex rooted in our own gender stereotypes. Dads are expected to work and leave their kids in someone else’s care: if evolution needed a mammoth hunter, guilt wasn’t part of the job description. But mums evolved as caregivers, so when we deviate from the script, guilt creeps up.

But here’s the truth: guilt is not helpful. It just weighs you down. If you work — by choice or necessity — adding guilt only drains your energy. It’s like doing pull-ups with weights on your ankles. Why make it harder?

I had a great role model. My mum (as well as my grandma) both worked full time. I was a free-range kid: walking home from school alone at seven, figuring out how to light the gas oven, baking rock-hard biscuits without a recipe. I turned out just fine.

I still remember a glamping trip where mum stayed back to finish work and joined us later. She arrived after dark, under a clear post-rain sky, her company car pulling up beside our cabin. She brought goodies from town, and we had a late-night mini feast. I thought it was the coolest thing ever.

So I’ve chosen not to feel guilty.

When I’m with my family, I’m truly with them. I block 6–9 pm each workday for family time and put away my phone and laptop. I can’t attend every kids-related event, but I make it to some. We take photos and talk about them later. I bring home local treats from work trips. I tell my kids stories about work: how to lead, how to fail, how to grow. I think it adds to their world.

Lesson 2: Build support systems to get you through the early years

I’m never part of “Plan B” at home. I’ve deliberately set up my life so that when something unexpected happens, like a sick child, I’m not the one who drops everything.

I rely on layers of support. First, my mum — she lives with us. Then my husband, a brilliant improviser with a more flexible schedule. And, of course, Luxembourg services like Foyer (wraparound school care where kids eat, play, and do homework) and Krank Kanner Doheem, which sends trained caregivers to your home when your child is sick, a lifeline for single parents.

Support systems don’t just fall into place — you have to design them. It takes planning, trade-offs, and money.

It took me three years of court hearings and appeals to bring my mum to Luxembourg. Others have tried and failed. The trade-off? We are now tied to Europe. Countries like the UK, US, and Australia won’t let us move as a family unit with an elderly parent unless she’s already a citizen.

Some couples moved closer to grandparents for help, and now face tough choices when return-to-office policies hit. Others solved it with money: an au pair or a live-in nanny.

In the modern world all support systems require money. I remember in my first job a colleague returning from maternity leave and saying that her entire salary was not enough to cover childcare. I decided then: before having kids, I wanted to earn enough to cover those costs.

Lesson 3: Set boundaries at work

The more senior you get, the more work follows you. Global roles stretch across time zones. Escalations land in your inbox at all hours. If you’re not quick, you lose. Some problems stick in your mind for days. I’ve found myself rocking a child to sleep at 4 a.m. while my brain replays an unresolved issue.

To be effective, I need clear on-and-off time. So I set boundaries and try to honour them.

I don’t work on vacations.

I carve out time for sports during the work-week (I wrote about it here).

I block 6–9 pm on weekdays as family time.

Do I ever cross the line? Of course. If a stakeholder’s in town for evening drinks, I try to go. If a VP books a key meeting with US teams, I’ll adjust. But I make my boundaries known to my team, my boss, and the EAs. I ask US colleagues for early-morning slots or call them at 10 pm, after kids are in bed. I request European meetings during European hours.

It’s not without cost. One former boss excluded me from after-hours meetings, “not to bother me”. I found out later, after key decisions had already been made.

Boundaries have consequences.

Lesson 4: Ask for help

Some weeks, everything crashes at once. A crunch at work, coupled with things spiralling out of control at home.

Picture something like this. Bills and taxes pile up. One child is sick and needs a doctor. Another got in trouble at school and needs a “conversation” and a haircut. A third has a birthday party and a scout event on the same day. On top of all, the car breaks down.

It only happens “all at once” a few times a year, but when it does, it feels overwhelming.

My instinct is to power through.

But this year, my coach Rony challenged me to try something different. He suggested I might be carrying too much and that perhaps others in the house could take on more of the mental load. Not just taking it when I delegate, but truly owning the responsibilities.

So I asked for help.

I made a list of everything I handle at home. My husband did the same — and his list was longer (I’m truly blessed to have a very supportive partner).

Seeing both lists made us appreciate each other more. I noticed how many things he handles that I take for granted (like fixing everything that breaks).

I also made peace with the “boring but crucial” jobs that will always be mine: taxes, foyer inscriptions, most other paperwork. My husband has ADHD, and those tasks are agony for him. Now, when I do them, I remind myself I’m doing it for our family. That makes it feel worthwhile and not just a chore.

We agreed the kids could take on more chores (still a work in progress!).

We found overlap in our responsibilities and divided them more clearly.

We spotted tasks we could eliminate, automate, or just do less often—and we let them go.

Have we sorted everything out? Of course not.

As I am writing this, my husband’s planning two kids’ birthday parties. I’m trying hard not to hover — or “help” in my very efficient way. I gave him a checklist. I don’t think he’s using it.

There are still tasks I’d love to drop, but haven’t. Their time will come.

Emergencies still happen. Stress still sneaks in. But it feels more manageable now. I’ve shifted part of the mental load. I’ve given myself permission to be imperfect.

And I’ll probably do this whole exercise again in a few months.

Lesson 5: Alternate sprint and recovery

My natural mode is marathon pace — steady, consistent effort I can sustain indefinitely. Slow and steady has always been my strategy.

I learnt a different one from a senior leader a couple of year back. He called it “my crash days”: unplanned time off when he hit a wall. He’d cancel meetings, sleep in, exercise, and fully unplug.

I’ve adopted the idea, but I book my recovery days in advance. I plan something fun: a spa, a museum wander, or a book I’ve been saving. Having it on the calendar gives me something to look forward to.

Sprinting isn’t just for short bursts: it applies to whole seasons of your career. Sometimes you grow fast and pour everything into work. But recovery has to follow. If you don’t take time off, your body will force you to.

Would you rather be sick or have fun? More people are choosing fun. I know parents who pulled their kids out of school for a year to travel. Colleagues who took three-month sabbaticals and came back recharged. It works.

Life is a long journey. We can do many things, just not all at once.

As working parents, we juggle, adapt, and build resilience one brick at a time. We don’t survive by doing everything perfectly. We survive by choosing what matters, protecting our time, and remembering to enjoy the ride.

Did you like this post? If you know a working mom, consider sharing it with her. If you are a working parent yourself, share your go-to survival strategy in the comments. Thank you for reading :)